Posts on balderdash

Last night I ran Microsoft’s spell-check on a 250-page novel. I always write with the spelling and grammar checks turned off because otherwise every page would be full of red and green squiggles.

I’m not a bad speller (hey, I was the second best speller in second grade!), but MS Word really hates my grammar. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if MS Word had its way, every poem would be a business letter.

Anyway, if I leave the spell-check until the end, I can worry about more important issues, like does this story make any sense whatsoever?

Last night’s spell-check revealed a great many boring typos and intentional misspellings (e.g., “He’s fiiine!”). But a few words I got so totally wrong I was actually thinking, “God bless spell-check!” as I corrected the mistakes.

Here are a few examples of my invented lexicon, whose meanings I can only guess at, Balderdash-style:

• Capuchino – caffeinated beverage of choice for professional monkeys on the go
• Criterium – the chemical element by whose qualities all other elements are judged

And my favorite:

• Mediocracy – system of government characterized by unexceptional leadership from the top down (I'm sure you can think of examples)