Worst First Lines

All writers hear, ad nauseum, about the importance of making a great first impression on their readers. You've got to have a great first chapter. A great first page. A great first paragraph. A great first sentence. Maybe even a great first word. You've got to grab hold of your readers from the get-go and, hopefully, never let go.

To drag out the questionable analogies, it's sort of like a lawnmower. You need a tremendous yank on the cord at the beginning to start the thing. But once it's running, it'll practically drive itself. Which isn't to say you can let it drive itself. There are rocks to look out for. Trees. Flowers. Squirrels. Small children. And it can always run out of gas. Um, yeah.

Speaking of questionable analogies and first lines, it's that time of year when San Jose State announces the winners of their annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Writers are invited to submit their ridiculously bad first sentences, and the very best/worst are recognized by the university. Read them and weep (with laughter). (Via Finding Wonderland.)

Just a few more months, and we can enjoy the annual Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award!

ETA, 8/18/08:
Meanwhile, Peter Robins of The Telegraph argues it's actually second sentences that are the better gauge of a book. (Via Fuse #8)